Do you ever have a moment when you think "Wow, I'm really glad God taught me this thing. It's so great to have finally figured it out!"
And then... you realize... you haven't actually.
This last year, I feel like God has shown me to not put people on pedestals-- not literally, mind you, but subconsciously, in my mind. Three friends of mine let me down--they fell from their pedestals in different ways, but all pretty hard. Okay God, I thought. Now I know not to do that. It's not very fair to either of us. People aren't ever going to be perfect--I'M not perfect--so I shouldn't hold them to that standard.
Maybe this is old news to you. It makes sense, doesn't it? I don't know why it took me so long to figure that out. But fast forward several months, and I realized ... I was still doing it.
To give you more insight, I have struggled with intense loneliness for all of my teenage years. I say intense because it seems a bit different from the regular kind of lonely. Maybe someday I'll write more on that. Because of this, I have cherished my close friendships.
Two weeks ago I was struggling. It doesn't seem like a whole lot looking back on it, but then, it seemed completely overwhelming. I turned to two of my closest friends for support. They were encouraging and pointed me back to God--but this week, after a conversation with one of them, I realized I should've gone to Him first.
I stepped back to look at every storm I've been hit with in this year. What was my first response?
I need this person to understand.
I just wish I could tell that person.
I wish so-and-so could be here to help me.
Oh no, I thought, I've done it again. and again. and again.
When you hear "They worshiped the created rather than the Creator" what pops into your head? People in the Amazon worshiping trees? Evolutionists giving credit only to "Mother Nature"? Yeah, that's what I thought. I never envisioned people--my people, my friends, my relationships--becoming that to me. I was subtly worshiping people instead of the One who made them
Please don't get me wrong. God puts friends in our lives as a gift--to help us, guide us, encourage us. I think God works through people all the time, and He loves to show us His mercy and grace through our friends and enemies. But I figured out I was putting too much stock into my earthly relationships and not enough in my direct up-line to Heaven.
I'm working to change that. It's hard. Really hard. And also slightly painful. It's hard to believe, some days, that God is still so patient with me, even when it seems He has to hit me upside the head to get my attention. So that's where I am right now.
How's your Thursday going?
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